Personally, I like to send funeral flower arrangements to the family of the deceased. I do check ahead of time to see if it is something they are ok with. Most people are happy to know that you are thinking of them and appreciate the flowers. A lot of the people I have spoken to didn't want me to spend very much money on the flowers and only wanted small arrangements. When I send funeral flowers, I usually order them online from a flower shop in the same town or city as the family of the deceased. That way, if there is a problem with the funeral flower arrangements, they can easily call and talk to the person in charge. Some wanted me to send money to their favorite charity instead. When my father died, my Mom wanted money donated to the Heart and Stroke foundation. The funeral home also had a place on their website where I could light a candle on his behalf next to his picture. I thought that was kind of nice as well. Whether you send funeral flowers or simply make a donation, the main thing is to let people know that you are thinking of them and their loved one.